So money is a very unromantic thing to talk about. It can be an awkward, although necessary conversation to have at some point, I don’t feel it is a conversation that needs to be had in the first month or so. The first part of dating or a relationship is when men should be wooing their girl. And girls should let them. Yes, I am a strong independent woman that doesn’t “need” a man. But I do want a man. The word being man. To me, a man has his shit together and money is not an issue. I am not a materialistic person in anyway. But if a man has an issue throwing down a few dollars to spend time with me over a meal, then you don’t have your shit together. Also there is something wonderfully romantic about a man who wants to work for your affections. A man who wants to give and take care of you. Its not a game, its a dance.
Proof that chivalry is not dead is just the little things I observe and experience from the guys around me. Guys who are so refreshingly old fashioned about it just warms my heart. You guys are the real MVP’s. He asks for dates, he opens doors, he lends his arm so you don’t eat it in your high heels, he walks you home to your door regardless day or night, he drops a dime for dinner and writes you short notes or handwritten letters. Its nice to have a man who woos, who works to show they are interested and care, who want to take care of you and treat you like a woman. This isn’t about being selfish or materialistic of course. There is just something nice about being taken cared of.
So as an independent woman when do we pony up? Well I think there are lots of opportunities for women to show some independence. For example, inviting your guy to a show and picking up the tickets – do it in advance and you don’t even have to “talk about it”. Or treating him to a slice of his favorite cake or buy him a cup of his favorite coffee.
I think what is more important is our mindset. There shouldn’t be an exchange rate for romance and wooing. I suppose it also matters what your end game is. If you are a serial dater not looking for anything long term than maybe you should be more of a check splitter. But if you are looking for a traditional long term relationship then I think you should be searching for that in your boyfriend.
Guys have expressed irritation at women who wanted to be treated “equal” but still expected the man to make the first move, ask for the first date, and yes pay for said date. As they said if you want the man to take on the role of old fashioned chivalry shouldn’t there be an expectation of role for the woman too. And if a woman wants to be treated as an absolute equal, then women should have equal effort and risk.
I like old fashioned traditional roles. I like being treated as the fairer sex and like a princess. I like having doors opened for me, my hand held, dinner paid for, and all my bottles opened. I like that guys make the first move and asked for the first date. I do believe that men and women are equal. But I don’t think in the same ways. In fact I think we need to glorify these differences rather than fight against them.
I carry my own stuff, open my own doors and that’s okay. But when given the chance it is nice to be treated like a lady. And I don’t believe that makes me weak or any less of a bad ass chick.