Dearest person, who’s stronger than anyone I’ve ever met,
Alright you need to listen to me when I say this, you need to read this over and over until these word sink in because I promise you they are the absolute truth. I promise you this.
You can do this. You are worth fighting for. You are far too strong to give up. You will get past this. You will not feel like this forever. You can do this.
Right now you are in such a dark time in your life. You know that, and you’ve let me know this, so lets get you through it. Because all it is a dark time, a patch, a stretch of days. These feelings are not who you are, nor are they a direct statement of what your whole life is going to turn out like. I know you can get through this. I don’t need to know you personally to realise this. You know how I know? Because it is really, really tough to feel like crying every waking moment of the day. It is really tough to feel utterly and completely defeated. It is really tough to feel as though the only way out is to give up and not continue life at all. But can I say that for all those reasons I just listed, you are so fucking strong. Because here you are. Reading this. Here you are. Despite how hopeless and how upset you are feeling, despite this urge you have to give up – you haven’t. You are here. I admire the strength you have shown, I really mean that. Because hell it is not easy to have to fight yourself every day, it is exhausting. I think what you need to realise is that you are tired, you are so tired of this battle, it has drained you and all these hopeless feelings are coming to the surface as a result of this. Please do not give up. I need you to see how strong you have been, I need you to realise that you are worth so much more than this, you have so much more to give and I know that if you hold on things can turn around.
Taking your life is a permanent reaction to a temporary problem. I know right now you cannot see how things could possibly get better. You feel stuck, exhausted, drained, hopeless. I know that is how you feel, but right now you’re not in the right mindset at all to see beyond that. You’re consumed by this sadness and you are letting it control you. So please trust what I say, as somebody who at the moment is in a clearer mind frame than you, as somebody who genuinely cares just listen to me: You can do this. Life has so much goodness to give and I am so sorry that you’ve received so little of that at the moment.
I want you to do something for yourself, and if you won’t do it for yourself, do this for me. For 2 weeks I want you, everyday to watch at least 1 sunrise or sunset (or both.) I want you to go somewhere quiet with a good view and fresh air and I just want you to sit there and watch. Watch the sky as the colours change. Then I want you to listen, what can you hear. Wind in trees, waves crashing, birds chirping? Just listen. I want you to sit there and be in the moment. I want you to live in those moments. The minute a negative thought comes your way concentrate and list off in your head everything you see and hear. Take it all in. Concentrate on breathing deeply and slowly. This might sound like the most stupid suggestion you have ever heard, and it might feel stupid the first few times. But can you just trust me on this? It is the things like this that make us realise the world we live in can be a simple, calm place that exists outside our minds.
I wish you nothing but happiness and love wherever you go. Do not give up. Take a rest, give yourself a break, refresh yourself. You are so fucking strong, please do not ever doubt that. You have made it this far, you are here, you are alive and I am so proud of you. Please feel free to message me anytime about anything. I don’t know specifically what is wrong, if it would help to talk about that I am more than happy to. Lots of love to you my dear, I have nothing but admiration and belief in you.
with so much love, k