Love.

Anti-Friendzone

I realize this is a daily occurrence for guys(& girls), and they get all worked up over something so simple. I’ve actually learned from my guy friends that the reason for the male’s race avoidance of kindness is the fear of being seen as just a friend. Especially when they have to develop a friendship with the woman they love. But trust me, the issue comes when you put too much emphasis on the friendship, and not enough on your romantic intentions.

So here’s the thing; You can still be a good guy, and be taken seriously by women. The trick is to not be seen as a pushover, otherwise known as the nice guy. Nice guys often find themselves in what we refer to as, the friend zone. Many claim it’s a mythical area of life that doesn’t really exist(somewhat true), but those people have never been in a situation where a woman has permanently defined them in her mind as a sort-of-kind-of brother figure. It happens, and it’s no fun. Believe me, I’ve been on the other end where my guy friends pour their sorrows and frustration out because of this. Hah! Sorry boys. 

Now, to be fair, a woman is only going to choose one man to be with. So technically, the other billions of men in the world are all in her ‘friend zone.’ When looked at on a larger scale, the concept doesn’t really make much sense. But when (quoting something someone once said to me)  felt as a blow to the ego, it is very real.

Don’t be a doormat.
People, for some reason, hear chivalry and think that they are required to be at a woman’s beck and call. She says jump, you say “how high?” This, obviously, is not the case.

Part of being a good partner is being a support system for your woman. Helping her where you can, doing things for her because you care, taking extra steps to make sure she is happy – but it’s imperative to not sacrifice your dignity in the process. A woman wants a teammate to stand beside her. A man she can respect. A man she can count on when times get rough. Not a puppy dog who’s going to follow her around and lose his own identity in the process.

The majority of women don’t want to be with a man whose ass they could kick. Have some pride, guys.

 

Make your intentions known.
That’s right. You’re a man who is interested in a woman, and it’s time to start acting like it. If you continue to “court” a woman, but she doesn’t actually know you’re courting her, then you’re setting yourself up for failure. Most women understand the fact that men are interested in more than friendship with them, but if you’re not assertive enough, odds are you will miss out.

To quote Ryan Reynolds(fangirls) in the movie Just Friends – “Always kiss her on the first date, because friends don’t kiss.”

 

Exude confidence.
Notice I didn’t say arrogance. The reason why some win and some lose at the dating game, is often tied to this point – confidence. It takes confidence to approach a woman in the first place. Confidence to make your move. Confidence to convey your feelings to her. Confidence to be secure enough with yourself to be romantic without feeling like you’re sacrificing your masculinity. (<– Don’t even get me started on this)

Confidence to be yourself.

Your confidence will be your foundation for success in relationships, and in life. Work on this first – and then move forward.

 

Present yourself properly.
Basic. Simple. But more than often overlooked – without some sort of mutual attraction, there can be no start to a relationship. Dress up, clean up, man up, and show women that you’re worthy of their attention.

If she’s not attracted to you, how do you expect something intimate to grow from that beginning?

 

Take her on a damn date.
Yup, I said it. Of all of the above points, I dare say this could be the most important. Without a date, you may not get the chance to even show your woman of interest, anything else mentioned from the above. A date is your chance to show her who you are. And when I say show her who you are, make sure you show her the real you from the get-go, don’t send some representative who you don’t intend to be and can’t be, forever.

Ask her on a proper date, be creative, put in effort. Show her that you care enough to take the time to plan something. It doesn’t have to a five star, jaw dropping view and huge gigantic plates with the meal no bigger than her lipstick; it can be as simple as cooking her favorite dish at your place or cooking it with her to have fun together. Also you are able to spend more time getting to know her and allowing her to know you.

Hey ya’ll
I’ve been literally reading and writing all day
and doing nothing else.
With coll in between tho.
It’s bliss, really.
I have no idea what’s with the sudden
booming traffic in my previous post
but thank you to every single person,
who shared and read it.
I WAS LITERALLY FREAKING OUT.
I think it was also because of Garry.
If you’re reading this, thanks gar. x
PS: I know the guy in suit at the top is kinda irrelevant
but he is so drool-worthy.
Sorry for being such a girl :’)
Have a great week guys!
khmy x

 

 

 

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