When you are loved by someone it’s a privilege, not a right.

You know how there are some sports where it is an individual sport as much as it is a team sport? For example, if you’re one of those few on the team who is good at the individual sport but as a team, you guys did not get enough points to win. Get what I mean? You cannot coast along and just accept your trophy because other people on the team are good. This goes for life as well.

What this leads to, is entitlement. Men are feeling entitled to women. They feel they have the right to a woman because they took her on a date or paid her a compliment or did something nice for her. They are reacting to rejection in a “How dare you reject me” manner and it is making everyone look bad.

This is not how it works.

In my opinion, being in an exclusive relationship with someone is one of the highest compliments they can give you. Here is a person who has the opportunity to choose one person out of 7 billion in the world to intimately commit themselves to. When they choose you, it is a privilege that should be taken seriously.

Nobody is entitled to anyone else. Nobody owes anything to anyone. Acts of kindness for the sake of a reward are not truly kindness – they are bribes. We have to start valuing each other as human beings and letting go of the idea that we have the right to be in a relationship with them.

We don’t.

The harsh reality is that you do not inherently deserve anyone’s love just because you are you. And they do not deserve your love, just because they are them. If they have not put in the proper effort to become the right kind of person and also to show you how much you mean to them in order to build an emotional bond with you – then they have not earned the opportunity to be with you. It is that simple.

You are not a participation trophy. You are not something that someone gets just because they happened to show up first. Plus, nobody puts a participation trophy on their mantle. There is pride in earning something that not everybody gets. Something that requires effort to be part of, and then effort to stay part of. A relationship with you is this something.

You are a championship trophy, reserved only for the one who puts the work and effort into becoming the person who truly deserves you – and it’s time somebody told you that.


One thought on “When you are loved by someone it’s a privilege, not a right.

  1. And even in an exclusive relationship (or marriage for that matter), I’ve heard that you have to be “nonattached” to the notion that you are married. In other words, don’t take it for granted.

    Your article came at a funny time too.


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