The stigma in being single.

Something I’ve noticed lately, that I hadn’t taken that much notice of before, is the stigma attached to being ‘single’. Whether it be the look of pity that comes over someone’s eyes as they find out you’re without a partner or whether it’s expectation that if you’re on your own your partner must have come to the party on their own. No, I came on my own, and I’m proud to admit it. I’m not an invalid, and I don’t need to be taken places.

And the look of pity crosses their faces. I should say that it’s my choice to be single and that I enjoy the lifestyle I lead, but on the other hand I shouldn’t have to defend myself, or justify the decisions I decide to make. If they want to pity me let them do it. At the end of the day, they can’t go out any night of the week and party like the best of them. Not that I’m partying a lot. Just saying.

The look of pity I receive so often comes from, in my opinion, people assuming that your choice to be single is the only choice you have. No one wants you. When in fact, I could be in a relationship right now, but when it came to choosing, I found myself not ready to give up the liberties you have when you’re single. Also, I’d like to point out one simple fact, I’m just not ready. I love the single life, and I’m not afraid to admit it. I love that I don’t have to fight with anyone about what DVD we’re going to watch. I love walking around the places on my own, admiring the sites. I love not having to discuss my plans with anyone in case it clashes with their plans. I love being an ‘I’ and not a ‘we’. I love ‘table for one’ dinner parties…Okay, not so much with the last one, but I think you get my point.

It’s cruel to define life as an ongoing struggle of finding someone who loves you, for you. It’s even harder when you’re “different”. When your weaknesses are harder to turn a blind eye to. When you don’t even love yourself. It’s the stigma in being single. People can’t understand how you can be alone. How you can live day after day without a good morning kiss. Or year after year without a Valentine’s date.

We can’t help but wonder, why isn’t it okay to be alone? When in fact, the loneliest lonely can be found in someone’s arms.

I kinda disappeared lately haven’t i?
Well, sorry not sorry.
Life was crazy but I’m back, baby!
So I have been thinking about couple of new ideas
and new plans which I am still researching
and prepping for. And still sleeping on it
because I know if I commit it will be for the long haul.

But I’m excited and I can’t wait to share it with you guys if things
turns out to be better than I thought.

later, gator..




5 thoughts on “The stigma in being single.

  1. People don’t understand that loneliness comes from within. Meaning you can be surrounded by people and even in a relationship, but in the end one can still feel lonely. And that’s an issue that person needs to work on. I’m actually surprised at 19 you get a lot of looks,I know it also depends where you’re from as in some small towns or even countries where that’s the standard age of marriage lol, but in NYC women go single into the mid or late thirties even! Especially African American women.


    1. That’s right. People constantly overlook that nowadays. They’ve just got this mentality that even in a relationship, you’re never alone. Physically true, mentally? Not so much. Hahahaha. I’ll take that as a compliment? I wouldn’t say I’m from a small town but we don’t get married at 19. Not usually anyways.
      Thank you for your opinion, it was most definitely refreshing.

      Liked by 1 person

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