Being a bookworm isn’t all about constantly parading around with a book or being seen with your nose buried in a one all the time. Soul imprinted bookworms possesses traits that makes them stand out from just ordinary book lovers. But what are these traits I speak of? See for yourself.
- If the weather is either cold or wet, it’s an unwritten rule that you must have a good read with you, curled up with a dragon to warm your feet.
- Explaining or defining a fucking good book by saying:
I hate everything
my heart hurts more than when I see car run over a dog
will eat it, if I could, because I love it so much
my middle name is now, ‘Damaged Goods’
- Reasons to auto-buy books for:
because the cover is pretty and I have no standards
- Ways to avoid buying a book:
Do not go to a bookstore.
Do not walk past a bookstore.
Do not go to a mall that has a bookstore.
Do not leave home.
- Do not shame them for:
owning multiple editions of the same book
buying but not reading
not having enough shelf space
reading Young Adult
- Life necessities:
Hogwarts acceptance letter.
a dragon. or maybe two.
bookmarks that don’t wander off
frequent cakes and sweet things
- Asserting dominance over TBR* pile by building a throne from it, striking a conquer pose and taking no shenanigans while you rule.
- Where to update on book news:
messages whispered by the trees
carved runes on walls
- Alternatives for books besides reading. Yes, surprise! Books are multi-purpose.
looking for fictional boyfriends because who needs Tinder
photograph them prettily
ignoring the world
knocking out someone you hate
build a castle and live there
- REASONS WHY YOUR TBR PILE ISN’T GETTING ANY LESSER:
it’s giving birth
it’s alive and it’s multiplying itself
they’re magnets and they attract other books
invisible people are adding more books to it
you just have a problem
- Frequent scenarios:
job interviewer: so why have you devoted your life to finding the secret to immortality?
me: excuse me, sir, have you seen my TBR pile?
me: hmm, I should be productive and do some work.
books: im here for you.
bed: come here.
me: so persuasive. ok.
me: I shall be responsible and finish my books from my TBR pile before buying new ones.
also me: oooh, is that a new book?
me: I CANNOT BE CONTROLED. I HAVE A MIND OF MY OWN.
human: do what I say and you can have this book.
me: well, okay.
me: my TBR is getting out of control. I should fix it
me: (AGGRESSIVELY READS TWO BOOKS IN A DAY)
me: (REWARDS SELF WITH MORE BOOKS)
me: why is it not fixed?
author: (BREAKS READERS HEART INTO ZILLION TINY SHREDS)
me: (SOBS UNCONTROLLABLY FOR TWO MONTHS AND JUST WANT TO DIE)
me: new favorite
- Hardcovers are the best gift from Gods until you drop one and die inside slowly, or drop it on your foot and die in slow painful agony.
- Trying to understand why there are people who complain about us reading too much when we could be outside killing or robbing someone but instead, we’re busy riding dragons and throwing a fireball at a wizard.
- You’ll never hear any one of us saying, “It’s fine! I wanted 57 different sized books that doesn’t stack nicely in my shelves at all.”
- Fun bookworm things:
pining over someone that doesn’t exist
then cry over this nonexistent person
stalking someone in public just to see the cover of the book they’re holding
- Types of book blurbs:
tells the entire story and spoils it
so vague what are you even reading
book quote that means nothing out of context
- We’re more courageous and live more dangerously than you think. We read a book knowing we would have an emotional breakdown or a hardcover falling onto our face and breaking it.
- Biggest fears:
running out of books
author dying before finishing my favorite series
running out of time to read books
death by TBR
- Why do people want us to stop reading and go outside? What do you want us to do without books? Frolic in grass? Pet trees? Conjure legions of darkness?
- EXAMPLE OF INCREDIBLE THINGS:
a row of books all in the same height.
blog formatting doing what it’s told.
holding the book you’ve given your soul and firstborn away for.
owning a magic cape.
holding the fate of all seven galaxies in your hand.
- Things to do:
‘accidentally’ live in a bookstore and never leave.
practice intergalactic time travelling.
making sure to never run out of books to read.
Don’t try and deny the,. Embrace them. 😉
With all my love and paperbacks,